How to Enjoy Healthy Holidays Without Being A Total Killjoy

25 Mar 2021 Blog , , , , , , ,

The holidays can present a mixed bag. Most of us look forward to Christmas lights, trimming the tree, and holiday parties with friends and family. But for all of the pros, there are also plenty of seasonal cons: the holidays are hectic, stressful, nerve-wracking, and exhausting. Racing from store to store collecting all the trappings is rarely as festive in real life as it looks on paper. Especially for women – who are more likely to be responsible for much of the planning, cooking, hosting, and gifting that make the season merry and bright. While it’s wonderful to spend time with those you love, getting to your destination can be taxing. Especially if must travel during hours you’d typically spend sleeping.

And if you’re trying to make healthy choices, the holidays are a minefield. Still, you want your loved ones to enjoy the yuletide cheer unfettered by your unique concerns. I mean, just because you’ve gone gluten-free that doesn’t mean your kids have to miss out on Grandma’s famous Christmas cookies. So, how do you strike the right balance? I’ve got you covered.

Arm yourself with the following tips to enjoy stress-free holidays without being a total killjoy.

 

Travel like Santa: It’s all about logistics

Unfortunately, most of us don’t own physics-defying sleds pulled by flying reindeer. A girl can dream though, right? Maybe next year if I’m very good, Santa will leave one under my tree. Until then, we can only aspire to travel like Santa. But holiday traffic, long lines at the airport, last-minute shopping, and unrealistic expectations from others can distress even the most centered among us. You get anxious, even panicky, sending your body into an intense stress response. The hormones released, such as cortisol and adrenaline, heighten your anxiety while suppressing your immune system. All of this, during a time when you need to protect your health the most. Stressful times require serious countermeasures. Planning is key – plan ahead to protect your physical and mental health.

So, how can you trip up travel stressors?

  • Do your homework – Make sure you know the best route to the airport or your final destination. Find out whether your hotel has a gym so you can de-stress with some exercise during your stay. Follow the weather reports so you’re prepared for the unexpected.
  • Pack your own food – This way you don’t have to rely on the over-processed options lining gas station aisles and airport guest shops. Restaurant food is often packed with extra butter, salt, and preservatives. Make sure your hotel has healthy food options on the menu.
  • Press pause – Things like overbooked flights and last-minute changes of plans can be stressful. If you encounter them, slow down for a few minutes, take some deep breaths, and try to clear your head. Walk it off if possible – around the block or the airport terminal. I find that a brisk walk can help put things in perspective.
  • Laugh a little – The benefits of laughter include lowering blood pressure, improving your immune system performance and reducing stress hormones. Interestingly, these positive effects are similar to having sex – I talk more about that here. Over the holidays, try to remember what truly matters: friends, fellowship, family. Surround yourself with people who make you smile.

Laugh a lot! When you laugh, your body releases endorphins which can make a happy holiday even happier.

Holiday weight gain? Sleep it off.

Only 40% of people get the recommended amount of sleep (7-9 hours) per night – and that’s when everything is going according to plan. Over the holidays, your sleep schedule can really go haywire. We spend more time celebrating and less time logging some serious zzzzs. Just one night of bad sleep can make you hungrier and inclined to eat more. Your plans for healthy holidays are all downhill. Short-term sleep loss can lead to increased caloric consumption. Even worse? Multiple studies suggest a link between chronic sleep deprivation and increased obesity risk over time. According to the CDC, people who get less than 7 hours of sleep a night are 24% more likely to be obese. And, the American Sleep Association says as much as 5% of obesity in adults may be attributable to sleep deprivation.

How to get a good night’s sleep when you’re waiting for the pitter-patter of reindeer feet?

  • Make sleep a priority – Insufficient sleep is linked to a broad array of chronic diseases and conditions. Type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, obesity, and depression top the list. Visits to the emergency room spike on Thanksgiving and Christmas days, in some areas, by as much as 12%. Many of these holiday patients present with injury or illnesses resulting from too little sleep.
  • Do not drive drowsy – We hear much about drunk driving. But a surprising number of auto accidents each year are caused by over-tired drivers. According to the CDC, an estimated 1 in 25 adults report having fallen asleep at the wheel in the last month. Over the holidays, these numbers are surely higher and, oftentimes, complicated by excessive alcohol consumption. So get the sleep you need and – if you don’t – surrender your keys to someone who has.
  • Unwind before bed – Stay away from devices and limit screen time. Save searches for last-minute gifts on Amazon for daylight hours.
  • Soak before you sleep – Try taking a warm bath before bed. There’s nothing I like more than lighting a lavender-scented candle and unwinding with an Epsom salt bath. After your soak, retire to a room that is dark and cool for optimal sleep.
  • Sleep and depression – Not getting enough sleep isn’t just bad for you physically. Lack of sleep can profoundly affect your mental health. The holidays are prime times for sleep disruption: you’re away from home, in an unfamiliar bed, and often not in control of your nightly routine. Sleep disturbance is one of the key symptoms of major depression so strive to maintain your personal bedtime rituals while you’re on the road.

Eat, drink, and be merry…within reason

For many, the holidays are a time where you grant yourself a free pass to indulge – the problems arise when you overindulge. Now, I’m not suggesting that you deprive yourself of your favorite seasonal delicacies. Each year when I am making stuffing, I forgo my typical healthy breakfast and indulge in a slice of pumpkin pie…I challenge anyone to stop me. However, taking a mindful approach to food and drink around the holidays is wise. Focus more on the fellowship and less on the food and you’ll have fewer regrets. You may actually get to know someone new or learn more about a distant cousin. Then when the parties are over, get back to your normal healthy routine as soon as possible.

How does one feast in moderation? One. Bite. At. A. Time.

  • Drink plenty of water – whenever possible, choose water over other beverage options. I always travel with my green tea bags since they’re caffeine-free and potent with antioxidants to oppose some of our inevitable poor holiday choices.
  • Watch your alcohol – it’s natural to want to celebrate during this festive time of year. Unfortunately, some revelers may drink to excess and, for many, this can lead to bad choices and even depression. The “holiday blues” are very real and can have dire consequences. Limit your alcohol intake and take in the good cheer instead.
  • Eat your own healthy food before heading out to holiday parties – if you’re already sated, you’re less likely to be tempted to overdo it. If you overindulge at all, let it be on charity and the love you share with your family and friends.
  • Contribute a healthy dish – bring along your signature fall vegetable casserole or a colorful salad. Every year I bake sweet potatoes with cinnamon and nutmeg. Why drown a perfect vegetable in syrup and marshmallows?
  • Pack your supplements in advance – I double my probiotic dosage to boost my immune system, aid digestion, and to combat Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Don’t forget your daily dose of D. During fall and winter months when sunlight is scarce and we spend less time outdoors, Vitamin D is especially crucial. Learn more about this multitasking nutrient here.
  • Live a little – if you love your mom’s cornbread stuffing then, by all means, have a serving. Treat it like the once-a-year special exception that it is.

Baby, it’s cold outside. Take advantage of it! The holidays are the best time of the year for snow angels.

Workout your bod and your mood for healthy holidays

When you’re at home, you’ve got your exercise routine down pat – that’s the goal, anyway. But, over the holidays, you’re not always in control of your schedule. You’re often subjected to unexpected delays and complications. As our to-do lists grow ever longer, many of us exercise less and less. The last thing you want is more stress and, for many of us, trying to maintain our usual workout program does just that. At the same time, staying active gives you the necessary energy and peace of mind to mitigate both stress and offset some of those extra calories you’re eating. Most important, exercise is an all-natural means to keep depressive symptoms at bay during a time when many struggle most from mental health concerns.

How do you  stay active and stay in the holiday spirit at the same time?

  • Keep your eyes open – Wherever your travels take you, stay on the lookout for walking, running, or hiking trails nearby.
  • Bring a workout plan with you – Pack resistance bands or, if you have a laptop, bring your favorite yoga DVD so you can spend some downtime on your mat. When I travel, I pack my portable OYO double flex and squeeze in a workout when I find a spare minute. And no, I am not a paid spokesperson; I simply love this piece of equipment. And I’m in good company: the OYO was engineered for astronauts to maintain muscle mass while in space.
  • Wear running shoes whenever possible – You never know when you’ll find a 15-20-minute window for a walk. You want to be ready at all times. After dinner is a perfect time for an excursion and it will give you a chance to catch up with family and friends.
  • Organize team sports – Like football, soccer, or basketball so you can get the whole family moving. Group activities can help clear your head and reduce stress.
  • Volunteer to help with household chores – Things like raking leaves, carrying suitcases, or entertaining nieces and nephews who are hopped up on sugary treats allow you to burn calories and lend a helping hand at the same time.
  • Put on your dancing shoes – If there’s a dance floor at the company Christmas party, get your butt out there and shake it. Dancing burns up to 8 calories per minute…so get out on the floor and move. You’ll burn calories and steer clear of the buffet at the same time.
  • Get over yourself – So what if you can’t get in your daily 5-mile run while you’re visiting your in-laws? Don’t let it ruin your stay. Simply get back to your routine as soon as you get home.

Serenity now. Serenity now…Strategies for hosting and guesting

Whether you’re the party thrower or the party guest, healthy holiday entertaining requires you to be flexible, resourceful, and above all gracious. Once again, planning is essential for avoiding stress and putting together a special night for your loved ones. But, no matter how well you’ve thought it through, be prepared for things not to go as planned. That’s half the fun – just roll with it.

How do you entertain without feeling drained?

  • Have a backup plan – Always have a plan B. No matter what the occasion. Call in advance to see if any of your guests have dietary restrictions or allergies. So many people today are lactose intolerant and gluten-free. Save yourself some undue stress by preparing (or purchasing) an assortment of dishes to accommodate their needs.
  • Delegate, delegate, delegate – You don’t have to be a hero. Most people actually like to feel useful. Make sure to spread the responsibilities around whether it’s sending someone to pick up celebratory libations or letting the kids arrange a makeshift centerpiece from the pine cones they found in the yard. You’ll be less stressed when you let others get involved.
  • It’s ok not to be perfect – If someone arrives with an unexpected guest, simply pull up a folding chair and make room for that exchange student who’s far from home. American holidays are a wonderful cultural experience for all of us to share. If you must surrender your own Christmas china for a paper plate, you’ll represent the embodiment of grace and the spirt of giving.
  • De-stress with aromatherapy – My holiday go-to’s are cinnamon, nutmeg, bergamot, and frankincense. Besides simply smelling amazing, essential oils are calming and have a multitude of health benefits. Essential oils can even provide support for your thyroid. For the millions of Americans with thyroid disorders the holidays can be especially stressful. If you’re concerned that you’re suffering from an undiagnosed thyroid problem, here’s a post that may help you get the help you need.
  • Give yourself a break – If you’re not feeling social, it’s ok to sit out an event. Just make sure you call your host and cancel and maybe send a nice gift. You know your limits. It’s up to you to honor them.

Now, you’re armed with the tools for a healthy holiday season. Get out there and share your cheer as you ring in the new year!

How Money, Media, and Mental Health are Making Millennial Life Less Sexy

18 Mar 2021 Blog , , , , , , , , , ,

More than fifty years after the sexual revolution, sex in America is in a free fall – especially among young adults who historically have the most sex. The children of baby boomers – who revolutionized American sexuality during the 1960s – engage in far less sex than their parents. Millennials not only do it less but they lose their virginity later than their parents and Generation X. The share of Americans saying they’ve had no sex in the past year is rising. Perhaps most surprising, young adults top this list.

Some have called these trends a “sexual counter-revolution”.They contend that, during the sixties, we saw a freeing up of attitudes towards sex. Whereas flower children pushed back at boundaries, millennials almost crave them. Now, sexual fear has replaced sexual freedom. Children have always rebelled against their parents. But, typically, they do so by upping the stakes. Today, young people are countering the freedom of boomers with a new more puritanical approach to sex.

Casualties of the “sexual counter-revolution”

Many factors are at play in the decline in sexual behavior among millennials – from social media to social anxiety. I recently attended an Anti-Aging Academy of America (A4M) conference. I was shocked to learn that 33% of millennials are infertile. This figure applies to both young men and women. And the consequences are dire. I see some sociological and health ramifications that are as clear as day:

  • less and later marriage – later marriage means greater difficulty conceiving
  • plummeting birth rates – in the U.S., lower than they’ve been in 30 years
  • libidos on the slide – largely the result of the hypothyroid epidemic
  • difficult pregnancies and more miscarriages – older parents encounter more challenges conceiving
  • lower testosterone which leads to lower sperm count. For solutions for low testosterone, read more here.
  • erectile dysfunction – yes, even among millennial males, 25% experience intermittent ED. To learn how we can treat ED, go here.
  • more mental health issues – anti-depressant and anti-anxiety prescriptions remain at an all-time high

So, the whole “Netflix and chill” thing?

Both young adult men and women struggle with these new sexual health challenges. So, all that talk you hear about “Netflix and chilling”? It may be just that – talk. In real life, millennials are binge-watching more and more and, um, “chilling” less and less.

But it’s not all doom and gloom. Less sex has lead to much positive social change – from fewer unplanned pregnancies to broadening the public discourse. Millennials have pushed issues of consent, sexual harassment, and rape to the forefront. Never before have we seen such unprecedented acceptance of LGBTQ community.  

Wait. What? Millennials aren’t hooking up like mad?

Yep. You read that right. Despite the buzz about “hookup culture,” from 2004-2012, young adults did the deed no more than their counterparts from 1988-1996. They were, however, less likely to be in steady relationships with their sexual partners. According to the General Social Survey, some 18- to 30-year-olds don’t do it at all. Time magazine puts the figure at one in three 20-somethings who have never had sex at all. Rather than sleeping around, many millennials focus on getting ahead.

No sex at all? What gives?

Explanations for this phenomenon abound – experts blame everything, including:

  • more time spent on smartphones and other devices
  • the millennial trend of living with their parents
  • anxiety about the future and anxiety in general
  • fear of missing out (FOMO) magnified by social media

While millennials may not be doing it in record numbers, they do their Sex Ed homework online.

The possibility that millennial conceptions of what constitutes “having sex” may skew the results. Anecdotally, in my practice, I’ve seen a rise in oral sex – especially among young adult patients. Even so, these numbers indicate an undeniable cooling off of sexual conduct.

Are millennials the most cautious generation?

If boomers are the sexiest generation, millennials are the most cautious by a landslide. Helicopter parents raised their millennial children to be risk-averse. From birth, they wore helmets and fastened seatbelts. But, risk-taking plays a major part in sexual experimentation. With unprecedented access to information about sex via the internet, millennials could easily learn about pregnancy risks and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Such access made an already anxious and serious generation more so. No generation before possessed so much awareness about sexuality and so little real-life experience.

Millennials grew up in the shadow of HIV and informed about STDs. When boomers had their day in the sun, such fears were nonexistent. Free love really felt freeing. Not for millennials, who use condoms more than boomers ever did. I see this positive pattern in my practice, as well.

Risk-averse over risky business

The millennial generation may view their parents’ comparatively fast and loose behavior as a cautionary tale. One they then apply when making their own life choices. These cautious millennials not only have less sexual partners than boomers. They also limit all sorts of risky behaviors:

  • millennials drink less – what once a rite of passage, they now consider reckless
  • they smoke less – the popularity of vaping may change this
  • teenage pregnancy rates have dipped dramatically – and condom use is up
  • they commit less crimes – 20 years ago, people committed double the number of crimes

Money and marriage: Are millennials choosing salaries over sex?

Some posit that sharing a roof with their parents accounts for the nosedive in sex among millennials. For the first time in over a century, more young adults live at home with parents than with a spouse or partner. Married people have greater access to sex than single people. Indeed, marrieds engage in more sex, more often. Since millennials tend to marry later, a decrease in sexual participation makes sense.

Studies show that, globally, millennials log some serious hours. Many are virtually married to their careers. So much so that they work crazy hours for job security and moving up the corporate ladder. The emphasis on preparing first for college and now for careers came at a cost. Many millennials simply missed out on romantic relationships and age-appropriate sexual experimentation. Just the behaviors that typically lead to marriage.

Millennials have an historically low marriage rate. And, obviously, since married people are less likely to be virgins than the non-married, it follows that a decline in marriage means an increase in virginity.

Monetary factors in declining marriage rates:

  • More and more women enroll in college and join the workforce before having children or getting married. The average age of first marriage for females in the U.S. has climbed to 27. Up from 23 in 1990, according to Pew statistics.
  • Millennial males remain less likely to hold down a job than the generation before them. However, women their age work at higher rates.
  • Student loan debt is through the roof, hitting the $1 trillion mark six years ago. Many millennials can barely keep their heads above water.
  • Some millennials may simply be more selective than past generations. Selectivity is not necessarily a bad thing. With increased economic participation, women play a more active part in the mate selection process than in the past.
  • Their baby boomer parents enjoyed free love but also suffered high divorce rates. Divorce is rarely cheap and often the result of financial friction.

Postponing marriage until you’ve got serious bank sounds smart. But it may impact your ability to conceive.

Making relationships work involves many facets – and money plays a fundamental part. However, putting off marriage until you get your financial house in order may impact your chance of conceiving. Later marriage correlates directly to women having babies later in life. Among those experiencing difficulty conceiving – and this number is higher than you think – many look into fertility treatments later, too.

Screen time vs. sexy time: New media and sexuality

Millennials grew up with new media pervading every aspect of their lives. The proliferation of smartphones and increased screen time undermine the development of non-virtual relationships. Today, we are witnessing a sexual disconnect not seen in prior generations. New technology encourages millennials to devote time to social media, video games, pornography and other virtual distractions. And spend less time with their human peers in person. Less flesh-and-blood encounters mean less sex.

Social media also contributes to the decline in sexual intimacy among millennials. According to the Pew Research Institute, 88% of 18- to 29-year-olds scroll away their days on social media. A majority report visiting Instagram every day. And 38% report visiting the app multiple times per day. Simply getting a “like” of one’s social media postings triggers a dopamine bump. This bump simulates an addiction cycle similar to drugs.

During their spare time, many millennials are choosing their screens over sex and selecting their devices over dating.

More media, more problems

Social media also takes a toll on millennials’ self-esteem. Seeing peers portrayed with flawless bodies, accomplishing enviable milestones, and advertising “perfect” love lives, amplifies feelings of insecurity. Social media rewards such displays with digital applause. While the less secure online spiral toward mental health issues, body dysmorphic disorders, and social isolation.

Those in previous generations found their stimulation face-to-face. Millennials continually immersed in an electronic world experience no human contact of any kind. A recent study found that, contrary to popular belief, older populations aren’t at the highest risk of feeling lonely. In fact, loneliness peaks among teenagers and young adults. Social isolation often dovetails with low self-esteem, particularly among young adults.

Dating apps and sexual appetites

Meanwhile, finding sex outside of relationships has never been easier. Dating apps allow singles to hookup with multiple partners – in shifts throughout the day, if they desire. With the help of smartphones, partnered-up people can keep illicit liaisons secret from their partners in ways not imaginable before. Extramarital sex is more widely accepted among millennials than any age group. In a recent study, compared to older generations, millennials reported the lowest disapproval of infidelity at 75 percent.

For millennial singles, online dating leaves much to be desired as well. Researcher Jean Twenge, a millennials-expert tells the Washington Post that the prominence of online dating contributes dramatically to their slumping rates of sexual activity. Twenge points the finger at dating apps’ emphasis on physical appearance which “leaves out a large section of the population.” This superficial component leaves many feeling left out and less likely to risk the emotional damage that comes with rejection. Many millennials would rather be safe and solo than suffer the consequences of “catching feelings.”

Many single millennials would rather be safe and solo than risk rejection or the possibility of “catching feelings.”

Porn and performance. Yes, they’re related.

Pornography is pervasive. No doubt about it. And its consumption is on the rise, especially among millennial males. But female viewers are picking up steam. Recent research team looked at shifting attitudes and behaviors surrounding porn from 1973 to 2012. The findings, published in the Journal of Sex Research, confirm porn viewership is escalating among young adults. Popular adult site, Pornhub, saw its viewership grow from 10 million daily visits in 2009 to 25 million in 2012. In 2017, 75 million viewers got their kicks on the site. A significant leap by any standards.

Increased pornography consumption represents a serious factor in declining millennial sexual behavior. Young men particularly dedicate a significant amount of screen time to virtual sex rather than the real thing. Twenge accounts for such devotion to porn like this: “Why risk rejection, sexually transmitted diseases, relationship arguments or having to meet up with someone when you can watch porn in the privacy of your own bedroom and do things your way?” I’ve got more on the increase in “self-love,” below. Keep reading for that.

How does porn affect sexual performance?

Excessive porn viewing affects more than the mental wellbeing of millennials – it also affects physical performance. Sexual perfectionism represents an emerging problem. One firmly rooted in watching porn. Young men and women expect real-world sex to be seamless…just like it appears to be in the porn they’ve watched since they were teens. In reality, sex is messy and unpredictable. Sexual perfectionism can lead to all types of sexual dysfunction in men and in women. Serious issues like from the inability to orgasm to erectile dysfunction.

I’m not in the mood: Millennial sexuality and mental health

It’s not hard to imagine how the challenges of 21st-century life would spawn an epidemic of anxiety among this generation. A survey published earlier this year by the American Psychiatry Association found that millennials are by far the most anxious generation. Women tend to be more anxious than men, and people of color scored 11 points higher on the anxiety scale than Caucasians. Millennials are reporting these and other mental health conditions at higher rates than any generation before. Such awareness may not necessarily mean that they are suffering any more than their previous generations. However, they are considerably more vocal – and less judgmental – when it comes to mental health.

For the “anxious generation,” life in a digital world is complicated and many millennials feel overwhelmed. Constantly. All of the benefits of technology come at a toll. Higher educational demands and pressure to earn hefty incomes also lead to an inflated quest for perfection. Because they spend so much time online, millennials cannot resist the urge to compare their personal and professional achievements to everyone else’s. This practice leads to low self-esteem, insecurity, and a host of other unhealthy mental habits.

Is sexual perfectionism a thing?

Specifically, a dramatic increase in perfectionism – even when it comes to sex. Perfectionism often manifests as a fear of failure – or not performing constantly at your best. Fear of failure in the bedroom is very real. I talked about sexual perfectionism above and I hear these concerns from my patients almost daily. Taking pharmaceuticals is not always the solution and, in some instances, may even compound problems.

One in six Americans are on antidepressants, and the rate is even higher among millennials. Many medications used to treat anxiety and depression decrease libido and sexual activity.

If that’s not depressing, I don’t know what is. For those of us in the medical profession, now is the time to start having different conversations with our patients.

Millennials are doing their Sex Ed homework

Millennials may not be hitting the sheets en masse. They are, nevertheless, highly informed about sexuality. Since most millennials grew up with easy internet access, the way they learned about sex differs vastly from past generations. Whereas boomers had their first intimate encounter with a Playboy magazine, many millennials found early thrills online.

Sure, both generations likely heard some version of “the talk” from their parents. However, millennials could consult Google for any follow-up questions rather than press their parents for embarrassing details. Millennials are also a more open and less judgmental group. They came of age with important issues like LGBTQ rights, consent, and sex positivity as part of the national conversation.

Self-love is the ultimate in safe sex. And the most “cautious generation” is practicing more than most.

Self-love is de-stigmatized

And “self-love” is broadly accepted. The stigma surrounding masturbation has never been less pronounced. Across all generations, millennials masturbate the most often. A recent study comparing the “self-love” practices between the generations found:

  • Millennials masturbate an average of 18 times per month
  • Gen Xers get after it about 13 times per month
  • Boomers loosen their own belts about 7 times monthly

Most millennials openly discuss masturbation and routinely enlist the help of sex toys. Some even identify as “solosexual,” meaning that they engage exclusively in solo sex rather than sex with partners.

Say what you will about the millennials but at least the “cautious generation” is practicing safe sex. And lots of it.

Search

+